If anyone asks what I’m like they’ll immediately say something along the lines of, “Oh she’s that awkward girl.”
Not “Oh, she’s that girl with blond hair that likes to read” or “She’s that chick who likes cats.”
Or even “She’s that drop, dead beautiful girl who stole my heart away and I simply live each day so I may gaze upon her beauty.”
Nope, it’s always: “She’s that awkward girl you met.”
Until college I didn’t realize that awkwardness could be a trait, and frankly neither did any of my friends until they met me. But awkward is the only real way to describe myself. I looked awkward up in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and it said: “1.) Not graceful. 2.) Lacking skill. 3.) Difficult to use.”
I kinda frowned at #2 (“Lacking Skill”) and #3 (“Difficult to use”) because I wasn’t sure if I could be described as that. Sure, I can “lack skill” when I’m nervous and talking to people, so I’ll trip over my words just to finish my thought leaving people slightly surprised and confused. And, frankly, sometimes walking in a straight line is difficult (and sadly, I don’t drink). I lack skills in math as well, but I bake some pretty awesome cookies. I can also be difficult to deal with (as I’ve been told), but “use”? I don’t know. I’m pretty naive and gullible, so maybe that goes into my awkward trait.
I will have to agree with the “not graceful” part. For example: As I’m walking in a room with a lot of tables, this being either a cafeteria, restaurant, or even a library, I will say to myself to easily swerve around the tables. But, even as I’m carefully paying attention to my movements, I will undoubtedly hit the edge of my table with my hip. While it’s embarrassing enough to hit a table that someone else may be using, hitting it loud enough that the whole room hears it and your muffled yelp is just extra. Always followed with “Ooooo. Watch where you’re going” from a stranger.
Yes, thank you, I think as I limp away with as much dignity as I can muster.
Strangely, sometimes simply moving a few steps can be dangerous. As I’m standing in front of a classroom lecturing and move slightly to write something on the board, I have to be careful that I don’t trip over my own damn feet. I haven’t fallen in class yet, but it’s coming. And I will blog about it when it does. (Side note: You’re probably thinking Holy crap, this woman is a teacher?! And the answer is yes, yes I am. I am teach college English. That’s right – I am teaching America’s future. Terrifying, huh?)
But really the only way I can prove that I’m awkward (and it’s really weird I am defending my awkwardness) is to write about examples in my life. And that’s what the purpose of this blog is – to write about how awkward I am and how I deal (awkwardly) with life.
PS: If you scroll down further of Merriam-Webster’s definition of “awkward”, there is a section entitled “Related to awkward” with a picture of cat that has a lampshade on its head and next to it reads: “OMG. This Is So Awkward. Merp.”
This speaks to me on many levels.